These are two books I’m reading through right now that I totally recommend for anyone who is married, thinking of getting married or would like to marry one day when they are with the person they can build life with.
“Love and Respect – The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs”
— Dr Emerson Eggerichs
It’s simply written, and maybe he sounds a little clueless as a husband…or maybe that’s how husbands are…I don’t for sure since I’ll never be one…but reading this together with my Hubs has been eye opening with regards to the communication within our relationship. Particularly in dissecting how those crazy where-did-that-come-from-why-is-this-even-an-argument or I-wouldn’t-be-defensive-if-you-didn’t-attack-me-first arguments (know what I’m talking about? Anyone?) It’s SO EASY to say it was the other person who started the fight…but really, the other person is saying the same thing of you! Sometimes there isn’t necessarily anyone in the wrong as to who starts it…but definitely, the more spiritually mature person is going to be the one that stops the cycle first. It covers how to identify what triggers each other, how to stop the “crazy cycle” from starting…or at least how to stop it from spinning out of control…as well as how to actually build each other up in a way that is meaningful to the other person. The goal is ultimately to demonstrate love and appreciation to each other in the way that we receive it best as Husbands and Wives. We haven’t finished the book yet, but already it’s principles have diffused some potentially ugly rearing of our respective prideful heads. Woohoo!
“Sacred Marriage – What if God designed Marriage to make us Holy more than to make us Happy?”
— Gary Thomas
The first time I read the title tag line I was already blown away. Wow. NO ONE…I mean NO ONE in our culture thinks that way. It’s all about making sure one’s self is happy and protecting one’s right to happiness. I read somewhere before that “Securing your personal happiness is a sure way for no one to be happy.” Considering the divorce rates or the rates of single parent families…whether Christian or non…I can see that this mindset has permeated our minds deeply. I had always known that Marriage is SO MUCH more than a mere piece of paper differentiating it from common-law relationships and as I read this book it’s becoming clear why. Marriage first and foremost was designed to reflect the love relationship Jesus had with His Bride, the Church. It should literally be a slice of heaven. So shouldn’t marriage also bring us into a clearer understanding of who God is and who we are to Him? I’m just scratching the surface here so I recommend getting yourself a copy and read it for yourself. It’ll challenge and reshape your thinking in a way that is necessary for marriage to be more like what God intended it to be. I’m pretty sure most marriages now are just a shadow of that.
So…check it out. Let me know what you think.
I’d love more conversation around the material brought up in these books.
Would also appreciate suggestions of other good reads.