But Lord help overcome my unbelief!
At the beginning of June I posted on how discouraged I felt about the return of my hyperthyroid condition. Some of the closest people around me where starting to suggest that maybe I should do the RAI therapy and just permanently disable my thyroid. It’d be easier to control. There were conversations about how God has provided science and medicine so they were forms of God’s “healing” as well. I argued that destroying the natural function of my thyroid isn’t exactly “healing”. I believe in science and medicine….I also believe in God. The two shouldn’t be in conflict but how does it work together? How does my faith fit into the equation?
The endocrinologist called me to ask if I was ready for the RAI treatment but I refused it again. Part of me strongly believed through God I can kick this Graves Disease and defy the doctor’s diagnosis. Part of me wondered if God would actually heal me. I didn’t know how to pray…I wanted to be healed yet adding “if it’s Your will” to my request sounded hollow. So I asked God to direct me…what did He want me to do?? And He answered.
Last week a friend shared an incredibly touching story with me. A young family she knew was taking their third child, a baby, to the hospital to correct her cleft palate issue. But Sudden Death Syndrome took the baby’s life before the surgery could happen. The parents were devastated but resolute in their faith that God could and would bring their daughter back to life. A 24 hour prayer chain was started and people came to the church to pray over the body of the baby girl. And while a cremation date was still scheduled as that was expected of you, the parents believed it wouldn’t be necessary. The night before the scheduled cremation, a fellow believer who was praying saw letters appear on the girl’s forehead. He couldn’t read it, but recognized it was Hebrew. Taking a photo of it, he sent it to his friend who was studying Hebrew. The friend replied saying the text read “I AM that I AM”. Stunned he immediately told the parents of the little girl who then had incredible peace in knowing God had let them know He was keeping her. (I seriously had tingles in my arms when she was telling me this.)
My friend later asked the mother how she had such faith her daughter would be raised…and it’s her reply that spoke deeply to me:
“You have to believe 100%….or 0%. There is no lukewarm with God.”
No lukewarm. No “…but only if it’s Your will.”
Either I believe Him 100% for the healing or I don’t believe and I get the RAI done. I realize it’s not so much which is the better option…it’s where does my faith really lay? In science and medicine, which God enabled man to develop, or in God Himself who created the very things we discover and marvel over?
As further assurance to me, God spoke through the words of a doctor friend of mine who was also diagnosed with Graves but has been in remission for the last 10+ years. She never went through the RAI therapy and encouraged me that the thyroid ups and downs is account it trying to reach the middle…and that I should not be discouraged.
Then this past Sunday, we received a message on Healing. (I love how God always answers in more than one way!) In God’s kingdom there will neither be death nor sickness…though while His kingdom is here, it is not yet complete. This does not diminish His present ability or willingness to heal. In fact, you hear of many many miraculous healing stories from Christians in the developing world. We hear less in the developed world because our faith and security is in pills and surgeries. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should disregard science and medicine…to a degree it’s still part of God’s provision for healing! I’m still taking my thryoid medication until my blood test shows I can stop. The question continues to be “Who or what is my faith in?”
Do I believe God is who He says He is? Do I believe He can do what He says He can do? Do I believe Him enough to ask Him for it? Or am I trying to give my faith and God a way out by saying “if it’s Your will”? Not too long ago I wrote about believing God…and now I must chose to live that out. 100%.