18

Do you remember being 18 and what that was like?

  • I thought I was so smart. First class honors through high school…IB program…scholarships to university. (I would later receive a D in Biology 200 and a D+ in Finance 317….and lose my scholarship.)
  • I wasn’t allowed to date in high school so when I turned 18, I “rebelled” by dating…secretly. I also broke up with him via ICQ two years later. Bad form. And asked if we could “just be friends”. Bad bad form and blog post worthy for another time.
  • The Asian gangsta crowd seemed really cool to me. I think partially because I was told I totally had the “大姐” look (translation: “Big sister”, in reference to a higher ranking female in a gang who has a cool/calculated/disintrested gaze at all times). Was never into it enough to witness any gang fights though I knew people who’ve been (just playin’ with fire…didn’t want to be IN the fire). A couple of my gangsta friends have gone prison and back for various charges like possession of drugs/weapons/shooting someone.
  • I was also into the FOB scene…you know, the Canto and J-pop, Canto soaps and movies, Pochacco, etc….(Can you say well rounded? IB student, into the gangsta and FOB scene.)
  • I moved away from home for university this year too. While many dormmates got homesick, I was happily away from home. I think I got homesick twice…usually around Christmas and particularly if I was the last one to leave account a crappy final exam schedule.
  • I did my first all-nighter trying to finish writing a eight page English paper that I started only two nights before it was due. In the 20 minutes it would take for eight pages to print off a dot-matrix printer, I would catch a quick nap before sprinting my sleepy @ss to class.
  • Wearing three-inch heels on campus was so stylin’ and so cool. My small bunion curses me now.
  • I attended one beer garden on rez….but the stench of beer belches and vomit all over the place cured me of any desire to go near one again. That and beer makes people do stupid things of which I also didn’t want any part of.
  • Oh yes, I went clubbing using an older friend’s ID. Asians all look the same after all. I was legal in Alberta at 18, but you needed to be 19 in BC.
  • I remember my first shot of Sambuca….tasted gross…burned down my throat and warmed my stomach. Oh and vodka jello shots. And vodka frozen grapes. (I hope my Mom isn’t reading this.) One of my friends, Tall One, told me he’d corrupt me before I finished second year….to this day he still hasn’t managed to do so.
  • And I liked fast cars. Though I would also observe that the faster and more pimped up the car, the uglier the guy behind the wheel.

Surprisingly, I didn’t go all wild like my friends thought I would considering my incredibly strict upbringing. Never got drunk. Never smoked pot. No wild parties or waking up with strangers. A still small voice cautioned me that while I could very well do all those things, whether in rebellion or just in curiosity, I’d have to live with the consequences…and I had seen enough of other people’s consequences that I knew I didn’t want them to be mine. For that bit of restraining wisdom I am thankful. No ghosts haunting me now. And no regrets.

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