“But we destroyed that hard drive.”
In recent history, we had a near nuclear blow up in the house. The extremely abridged version of what went down was simply this: a hard drive that wasn’t supposed to be destroyed, was destroyed along with the hard drive that was supposed to be. Abounding amounts of God’s grace and mercy was flowing in all the affected parties and so a nuclear blow up was averted. Much to my immense relief.
I would say the main two sentences of causation boils down to these:
“If you asked which hard drive to pull out before assuming you knew, then this wouldn’t have happened.”
“If you clearly told me which hard drive NOT to pull out instead of assuming I knew, then this wouldn’t have happened.”
This of course boils down to both of us probably thinking, “I wouldn’t have made that grave error before you came along.”
“Yes, probably not, but I wouldn’t have made that grave error before you either,” is the reply that both of us would’ve probably had as well.
Fact is, when you’re the only one receiving information and making decisions with it….there just is less chance of error. When there are two or more parties in the chain of information, it almost becomes like a game of Telephone, or Telephone Charades. How one person conveys the information could be received differently than intended. Inevitably, something gets lost in translation as assumptions will play into all parties.
“Don’t you know when I do or say this, that it means that?”
“No, when I see or hear that, it obviously means this!”
Sigh. Makes one want to operate by themselves doesn’t it? But that defeats the whole purpose of marriage, which is to join two individuals so they would share one heart, spirit and mind. This doesn’t happen once you get married of course. This process of unifying two (usually self-preserving, self-centered) individuals takes a lot of time and work, trial and error, clarifying and re-clarifying, sweat and tears. I’m convinced the end result will be far better than operating by yourself. You become a better person as a result of that journey. A well-made joint decision is a BETTER decision rather than just a non-erroneous decision.
It just, well, it just takes a lot of work.
Then start sooner rather than later. =)