Knew I would do it once I married.
I wanted to do it.
I was looking forward to doing it.
But wasn’t quite as prepared for the emotional aspect of actually doing so. Names, I find, are powerful. I loved the idea of being joined under one name. A similar sentiment to how a spiritual family is united under Christ’s name. There is a sense of unity, harmony and security too as each family member bears the name of the one who’ll protect them. Incidently, God has set the role of the husband and father as the main protector over his household. The husband holds the primary responsibility to God for the physical, emotional and spiritual well-being of his family. (Not that the wife has no responsibility, but I believe the husband is designated to hold the primary role.)
So…after the wedding, we applied to get marriage certificates. We requested two wallet sized certificates as that’ll be the easiest way to carry them to each place that I need my name changed at.
First stop, at a registry to change my driver’s license. All other places will require photo ID so this was the natural first stop. While at the registry, I changed my name on my car registration and the Health Care card. Then I hit up the bank. Which meant I needed a new set of cheques as well. At this point I started to feel a little nostalgic as I’ve held an account in my name nearly all my life…I almost didn’t recognize my account or my cheques seeing my married name on it. Car insurance came next, then my place of employment and of course, Revenue Canada. Slowly, I contacted the cell phone company, charitable organizations, doctors and dentist…etc. (I left the passport though…will do it when I have to renew since it costs as much as a new passport…and I had just renewed mine before the wedding.)
With each name change, I felt a little…unraveled. Little threads of me that has been pulled out and into the past as I get woven into the present and future with Skywalker.
It’s not as though I’m losing myself or anything…but I acknowledge that I MUST let go of certain areas of myself in order for Skywalker and I to build something TOGETHER. It’s not as though Skywalker “has it easier” in building a marriage either…he now carries the burden (and joy!) of protecting and providing for those who carry his name…just as Christ does for His bride the Church. Certainly no walk in the park!
Ultimately, marriage is more than the “on paper” joining of two people held together by some common interests. If common interests were to ever change (and they always do) then what’s left to hold the marriage together? Of course having the same surname isn’t the glue in a marriage either. But it’s a way for me to show I’m committed to building a new life with my husband. And the more ways we can show this commitment to each other throughout time, in tangible ways or not, the stronger, I hope, our marriage will be.
Did/would you change your name? Why or why not?