Something we’re learning in marriage is that we need to make things OURs. It might be his or my way of doing something…but we need to find OUR way of doing it. Even if it most closely resembles his way. The point isn’t that OUR thing needs to be different from anything in the past but rather that OUR thing is decided upon together in mutual agreement.
When we had gotten married and I first moved to Edmonton, we went through this process in finding a church to call home for a while. Skywalker was previously attending a large, multicultural and vibrant church. It was exactly what he needed in terms of community and ministry in that period of life. But with me in the picture, he couldn’t say it’s what WE needed. So we shared what we value in a church community and then we visited a few before settling on one that we BOTH felt drawn to.
When I had first moved to Vancouver I found a fantastic place of worship. It was the perfect setting for where I was in life. I loved the tight community, the simplicity and the sound teaching. But now that we’re here TOGETHER, I cannot assume it’s the place Skywalker feels right at home in. It might be the place but until we decide on it together, it’s not. So we’re searching.
And we’re trying to not be consumeristic about it…”What’s in it for US?” “Does it have the programs WE like?” “Does it meet all OUR needs?” “Does it suit OUR tastes?” Me me me me. That said, it is important to find a place where WE feel comfortable and where WE can see ourselves serving. It takes a fair bit of self checking to make sure we aren’t sliding into a shopping experience but are instead, really letting the Holy Spirit lead. We are searching and we are praying.