Question: How do you guys ensure that no other person invades your marriage?

I’m assuming you mean extramarital invasions as well as say, in-laws invading? ha ha.

For in-laws…we communicate with each other honestly how we feel about them…and help each other understand our families more…but also agree on certain lines that might need to be drawn. We’ve talked about how we are the primary and central unit. And in front of anyone else, we will defend this primary and central unit. Maybe there were some good points raised by outside parties, and that will be discussed privately, but we need to present a united front. I’m really big on anticipating the future so I tend to bring up potential conflict areas to discuss ahead of time…for “just in case” so we’ll be more prepared. Thankfully, we have pretty cool parents, so we’ve had no major issues. Yet. (Just being prepared!)

Extramarital invasions….I think this really comes down to a person’s character and how much they take their vows before God and community seriously. We’re making it a tradition to read our vows to each other every anniversary. In re-reading our promises we know where we haven’t been keeping them very well…so it’s a motivator to step up. We’ve also talked about not meeting up one-on-one with anyone opposite gender without first running it by each other. Even if it’s a really good reason with trustworthy ppl. We just want everything in the open so that nothing is perceived to be hidden. Have a close, trustworthy friend (of the same gender) whom we each can get prayer/encouragement/rebuke from when emotionally struggling or facing temptation is also pretty key. Talking about what might tempt us lessens its power…plus you get prayer sooner too. I don’t believe anyone will stray unless things aren’t well at home so we want to keep finding ways for us to keep our relationship solid, intimate, connected, fun, growing, etc.

We’ve only been married two years…and I don’t think there’s a success formula to follow…but for SURE we need to keep our marriage covered in prayer. I think if each person is walking closely with God, then we’ll be okay.

(Those people who say God told them to have the affair are super lame. They don’t know God! Or His character!)

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