What did you mean by “vagueness”?
It was Thanksgiving Monday night. Skywalker and I had just spent three hours chatting comfortably over delicate plates of sushi and sashimi. He also made sure he had enough cash on hand though this restuarant did accept credit card. I was starting to worry that he wouldn’t bring “this” up. This dancing around what this friendship/relationship was or might be. We finished dinner and I started to drive him home with a knot in my stomach when he asked if there was a park we could take a walk in. YES!!!!!
I didn’t really know my way around the area but after a few wrong turns, we made it to Steveston and started walking along their waterside boardwalk. That’s when he asked what I meant by saying the one thing that annoyed me most about men was “vagueness”.
I took a deep breath, “By “vagueness” I mean that I’ve experienced a couple times where I THINK I know what a guy’s intentions are towards me based on things they say and do, but in the end, it’s actually not the case and then I get disappointed.”
He replied, “Well, I’m not going to be vague.”
Great! Then trying to segue into the relationship topic by drawing attention to the stars, he asked, “Do you know the meaning behind a shooting star?”
“You mean the large chunks of space rock that burn up as they enter the earth’s atmosphere?” I geeked out.
I’m sure he did an internal face palm. “Yes, but I mean the other meaning.”
“The one about making a wish?”
“Yes,” he looked up, but the sky was completely overcast and you couldn’t even see the moon. Another internal face palm. “Nevermind….” He jumped right into the conversation I’ve been waiting to have.
“Would you say you’re ready for a relationship? And why?”
Now that was a solid question that everyone should ask each other before starting something. I shared that I was ready. Life as a single is fun but I found myself wanting to share the great experiences with someone. I wanted share in the joys and sorrows. To build a life together with someone. Skywalker asked another question:
“What is your definition of commitment?”
Another good question. I defined it as committing to put whatever time, money and effort needed into making the relationship work out. Then I asked, “And you?”
“Same,” he took a breath and continued, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and I want to see if we can take this further. I’ve been praying about this for a long time because I’ve never dated long distance and I think it would be hard. But I have peace from God that this is going to be ok and it’s worth it. I want you to know I’m committed to this relationship. I’m confident that as long as we keep God centered in it, whatever happens will be good.”
Talk about an internal jaw drop. Two of my biggest insecurities rising from the false starts were that I wasn’t worth it and that he didn’t want a relationship. Yet Skywalker addressed both directly in how he asked me out. They were magic words to me and really confirmed that God was behind it all. I definitely admired and could see myself doing life with a man who seeks after God and who has the courage to take risks. In fact, I was so blown away by how he asked me out that if he were to ask me to marry him that night I probably would’ve said yes. Skywalker continued,
“I don’t want you to jump into a reply. So feel free to take some time to pray over it. I’ll wait.”
That was super sweet of him…and it gave me an out. Not that I was going to take it, so I replied, “Actually, I’ve been praying about this for a while too. I knew my answer before this conversation and I want the same thing you do.” I smiled.
Skywalker was silent for an awkward three seconds. “I’m actually kinda shocked right now.” ha ha. From the moment we laid eyes on each other til now I had held back most of my cards until he laid his out…so he was very surprised when I laid the same cards out. “Wow….can I give you a hug?” I agreed and we hugged. Still kind of awkwardly….but it was very nice hug. A moment of shyness hit and I couldn’t look him in the eyes.
Walking back to the car he said, “My hand is kind of cold. Would you warm it for me?”
Teehee. A little bit of cheese was so cute. So I took his hand.
And THAT’s how it all started.
Then he flew back to Edmonton the next day.