An article came out recently on how the idealise notion of romance is actually the biggest enemy to long lasting relationships. Timely considering the frenzy around Valentine’s Day. Is love shown through how much money you spend? I say no, love is shown through cleaning up after each other, through offering a massage even though you really want one, and through taking care of an anticipated need even before he/she expresses it. Soulmates aren’t born, they’re made…starting with the daily decision to be one to the person you’ve committed your life to.
So what are we doing this Valentine’s Day? Nothing actually.
Skywalker has to work a little later. I’ll make dinner…maybe vegetarian to keep with our eating goal of reducing our meat intake. Maybe we’ll go out for a movie, but if it’s pretty nuts out, maybe we’ll stay in. I’d much rather have a special night out with the person I love because he’s the person I love than to be pulled into the marketing that THIS is the day to show you love him/her.
I’ve actually told Skywalker that he should never buy me any combination of red roses, chocolates or stuffed animals for Valentine’s, anniversaries or birthdays. We should know what the person we love actually loves to receive (consider the five love languages) and not just get something because you’re “supposed” to get that. But that’s just my opinion.
Aight…Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
Life of HeArt 
Amen! Yumi and I are doing Group tonight instead.
Fun! Say hi to everyone from us! Miss you guys!
What a GREAT article. Thanks for sharing.
WORD.
I am late to this conversation but I actually LOVE Valentines Day! I know that media, television and businesses have blown it way out of proportion and sometimes spouses and girlfriends can have pretty unrealistic expectations of that day, but I think in life it’s good to find many reasons/occasions to celebrate love and each other. Guys- don’t think if you’ve wowed her that one day, you don’t have to try the other 364 days of the year. And girls – don’t turn valentines into this a big grand thing that’s all about you. Why don’t you use the occasion as an opportunity for you to love/appreciate him?
While romance isn’t everything or even the main ingredient in a good relationship, it is still important. I might be misunderstanding the article, but I think to remove romantic love from a marraige is, well, not very biblical. I think God intends for there to passion, romance and excitment in a commited, spousal relationship (think, Songs of Solomon). Marriage is more than commitment and having a well-run partnership between two people. A fulfilling marriage also works hard to cultivate friendship and romance.
So, I guess all in all, my thoughts are I understand the dangers of idealizing romance, I agree that our society has turned the definition of “love” into something almost unrecognizable, I get that it’s not about what you do one special day but what you do everyday ordinary day, and I also understand it’s silly to fuss about traditions and dates when it comes to celebrating… Still, I think any reminder/opportunity to mark, carve out time, and show love/appreciation to someone you’re in a healthy, committed relationship with can’t be a bad idea.
Great points!! My rant was mainly focused on the money making aspect that advertisers and marketers throw at us….like “THESE” are the things you must do/buy in order to show your love. Yeah…no thanks. I’ll do my own thing. =)
Absolutely agree that passion and romance SHOULD be part of a marriage…though not the main points, and certainly not necessarily daily even. I think the article was about the “idealized notions” of romance? I like your thought that a reminder to mark/carve out time to show love/appreciation is still a good idea.
That said, Skywalker and I still had a romantic evening…he bought me a spring bouquet (no roses!) and I put candles out for a home made dinner. =D