Young Forever! Is so unnatural

Dolly Parton – from

One of my closest girl friends lives in the deep deep south of Houston, TX. She tells me stories of her world, how pretty much EVERY woman around her has had something done in the way of cosmetically enhancing themselves. Botox, peels, lifts, tucks, injections, new boobs, lipo, everything/anything. There is enormous pressure to stay young looking. And I can imagine it gets very hard to resist the lure of eternal youth. I wonder if I would succumb in that environment?

I tell myself that a fifty year old trying to look like she’s twenty is completely UNNATURAL and actually, kinda gross looking. The question is, what and for who are all these women doing it for? Ms PR commented that there’s a notion that guys cheat for younger women, so women feel they always need to look young. I guess either to hang onto their men or to try to get men. Which, is sad as I wonder if they don’t have any other strengths going for them in way of personality or character. But maybe our world has really gotten this shallow??

Here’s Huffington Posts’ list of twelve stars who said NO WAY to plastic surgery. I hope they succeed in their goal to never have anything fiddled with going forward. I also hope I age as gracefully.

I confess, I’ve thought about how great it would be have eye liner tattooed on so that I wouldn’t have to do it every day. And so that my eyes wouldn’t look completely naked because my lashes are so fine and sparse. And so I wouldn’t look retarded if I forgot to wear make-up. Looking deeper though, all the times I’ve thought about altering my body was because 1) I wasn’t living a healthy lifestyle or taking care of my body well and my body was showing it and 2) I felt insecure about how I looked, focusing on what I didn’t like and not noticing what was beautiful already. Could addressing those two items reduce the amount of cosmetic enhancements being done? I don’t know. I think it’s good to make yourself presentable and look good…like strong, healthy good (and we should WANT to be strong and healthy)…but where is the line drawn before it becomes an obsession?


Jack of all Trades

(Image not mine)

…and Master of None

That’s how I feel. I completed three semesters of Sciences. Have a degree in Commerce. And a degree in Fine Arts. Worked for six years in Information Technology. I could do an MBA or MFA or MDiv or take furniture reupholstery courses if I wanted. What is my career path? I’ve always quipped that I’m either really well rounded, or really confused.

I’m really comfortable where I’m at. My job is mostly secure. It pays well enough. I get to work from home. So many people would LOVE to have this. And I know this has been part of God’s abundant blessing to me…I am VERY thankful. Yet…a little restlessness stirs. Lil Pea and Skywalker have told me, several times, they feel I’m not using my full creative potential where I’m at. I’m not passionate. Frankly, I don’t know many who would be passionate about running queries. But do you have to be passionate about what you do in order to be considered in the “right” job? I see a job as a means to an end. It allows me to do things I enjoy. If it ever became a job I hated, then I’ll change. But like I said….I’m really comfortable right now.

Except where that restlessness stirs.

I know it’s fear. I’m not 24 with years ahead to figure things out. I’m in my thirties. We’re thinking of starting a family as my health is beginning to look promising. This really doesn’t seem like the time to go back to school or do something drastic that may cut extended health benefits and a good maternity leave pay. Yet a number of people have also told me that taking the leap out of their current blah-but-ok job into the unknown has been the best career move they’ve ever made. I respect and admire them for making the leap. I just don’t know if I could do it.

You’ve read how my “job hunt philosophy” came to be in the Brokenness Series…but basically, I’ve taken to just doing well where I am, and letting God open the next door I’m to go through. If Life was a deck of cards waiting for me to pull the next card out…I would close my eyes and ask God to pick a card for me. Sounds pretty passive. And maybe that’s where the restlessness speaks to as well…that it’s time to make an active decision?

“What would you rather be doing?” I don’t know. I really don’t know.
I just hope I’ll recognize it when that opportunity shows up.

They Talking ’bout Me??

(Image not mine)

Have you ever read someone’s blog post/tweet/FB status/comment/etc and thought “Are they talking about me??

Mrs PR brought up an interesting thought on this topic. While the person who posted usually isn’t talking about you, there IS some content in there that reveals something about yourself….maybe some quality that you don’t want to be associated with. Or some trait that you’re embarassed about. Something. And it gets your defenses up.

This totally happens to me. I might read a friend’s tweet that says “Some people need to mind their own business” and then start thinking…”Was that directed at me? Should I have not asked about ____?? I thought we were good friends???” Anyone relate?

Looking back at these thoughts, I see that it actually tells me a number of things about myself.

  1. Maybe I am a little nosey sometimes.
  2. Maybe I shouldn’t try to find out about what’s going on in someone’s life. If they want to share, they will share.
  3. Maybe I’m insecure about friendships or insecure about whether the friendship is as deep as I thought it was.
  4. Maybe I’m insecure about myself, about who I am and how I’m perceived.
  5. Maybe I think a little too highly of myself that others would bother to be writing about me at all.

My guess is that 98% of the time, the post/tweet/etc is not about me….but it revealed things about myself that could make me a better person if I changed. I need to be humble and honest enough to look at why I felt defensive. By admitting the shortcomings to myself, I can start the process of changing some of those negative traits and qualities. Extend grace and benefit of the doubt to believe the post/tweet/etc wasn’t directed at you. And move on.

Where’s the Hair?

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
– Matthew 10:30 NIV

Well, the numbers have been dropping by quite a bit of late Father. Would it be ok to make it stop? Please?

My body is slow to react. When I became hypothyroid I started experiencing hair loss as one of the symptoms (that’s my guess anyways…could be iron deficiency or something as well). That was a month ago. I’ve now swung into hyperthyroid territory but the hair loss continues. Gah! I’m sure I’ve shed enough to rival any cat. Sweeping is an annoying chore because as soon as I turn around, the nicely swept area will have some fresh hair on it. Thankfully I’ve always had a full, thick head of hair so I can afford to lose some…but it’s not a full, thick head of hair anymore. Even Skywalker notices more visible scalp.

I don’t know what it is about hair to a girl…or maybe it’s just me…but this is causing me some anxiety. Will my once luscious locks grow back? Should I even be concerned? Maybe this is normal? Maybe I’m just vain?

Probably….and a bit insecure.

“…if a woman has long hair, it is her glory…”
– 1 Corinthians 11:15

I’m probably taking it out of context…but there it says, a woman’s long hair is her glory. Mind you my hair isn’t very long at present…but still. Please stop shedding.

I hope it all grows back. =(